Grammar Blog: Week 5:Buy Indent Today!

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Hello, Folks.

I’m here to share with you the advantages of using Indent Marketing to advance your business interests today. When you need an in in the business world, please call us today, we will be indented to you to provide the best advertising experience possible!

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Oh… I see you’ve discovered one of my many jobs related to grammatical terms that happen to be named after companies… I mean, we can’t surely be referring to the act where one simply nudges the opening sentence in a paragraph a little to the left. If we are, I have a horrible secret to tell. I do warn you that the following may be unsuitable to anyone’s eyes…

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I’ve been trying to indent on this page for the last twenty minutes, but it never shows up. The other dirty secret? I love indenting so much thanks to academia.

Man, I really do.

It kills space. It signals the start to a new paragraph. It actually makes whatever I am writing look tiny bit more professional than before. The benefits for the paper driven college student are enormous. You really only need one, although there are up to four.

But trust me, and yes, you should trust someone who begins their sentences with “but,” you need to invest in indents today, and you only really need to use one kind. Shore up your indents today!

Grammar Blog: Week 4: Sentenced to Sentence.

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In an absolute cliche opening to a post asking a question about something most people know, I will reveal the dictionary definition of a sentence, or this title will make even less sense than it already does.

Grammar. a grammatical unit of one or more words that expresses an independent statement, question, request, command, exclamation,etc., and that typically has a subject as well as a predicate, as in Johnis here. or Is John here? In print or writing, a sentence typically begins with a capital letter and ends with appropriate punctuation; in speech it displays recognizable, communicative intonation patterns and is oftenmarked by preceding and following pauses.

So we/I know what a sentence does. I guess we’re done. Thanks for reading.

Looks like I’ve lost my elevator music.

While I’m looking for that, let me think about sentences.

It’s about communication. It’s not a terribly great revelation, unfortunately.

That being said, the order does matter. Sentences are methods by which we exchange information with one another while retaining the subject, verb, and object. Every sentence should have a purpose and if we’re lucky, each sentence is indeed conveying a new kind of information.

Otherwise, the sentence is redundant. I’m pretty sure my sentences only deliver the most up to date information. Yes, my sentences, they only deliver the most critical of words and the most rigorously set standard of new information. These, my words, are only capable of sending relevant and refreshed info- giphy

I must also say, I’ve used Grammarly for this post, and I’ve only been called out on four errors.If we’re going by the blog standard, I must have earned a triple platinum credit card by now.

No, I don’t know how those two thoughts are related to the subject at hand, but I would certainly love a triple platinum credit card. It must have three times the platinum!

Where would we be without the order imposed on us by English Grammar and sentence structure?

Know don’t I.

End post the of coming is.

Elevator, is oh here music

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GRAMMAR BLOG: WEEK 3. Correctness is in the Eye of the Beholder.

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Full disclosure: I never played the game listed above. I just thought it was a cool title. Super Nintendo covers had a certain charm to them which isn’t really replicated anymore. That’s my subjective opinion that’s mainly based on five-year-old me’s perception of things and I’m sticking with it, because if there’s ever an answer for artistic subjectivity, it lies in the mind of five-year-old me.

I have no idea if I know what I’m talking about. So in a sense, grammar and artistic critique are very much the same for me. I just know it feels right when I see it.

But of course, correctness is varied in different contexts.

Let’s take a look at one.

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Like I need to talk about more video games.

Formal: Overwatch is the greatest game Blizzard has released in the past five years.

Informal: Guys, Overwatch is the best thing Blizz has come out with, in like, a decade.

Slang (probably used in game): gud one blizz.

The formal one is the most accurate in its description because it leaves very little to open interpretation.

The informal one has information and has pauses in conversation that one is likely to hear. It also has an approximation of certain information, but it is not certain.

The slang sentence is one a player is likely to read in-game from another player quickly typing on a keyboard. It uses three words as opposed to the formal sentence that used thirteen.

Each sentence is correct in their own respective context, so when I mean “Correctness is in the Eye of the Beholder,” I mean “Correctness is applicable in varying circumstances and is up to the collective whole to decide the proper usage… in the Eye of the Beholder.”

But really guys, play more video games, it can’t hurt.

Grammar Blog: Week 2. What do I Know About Wars?

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We live in a world where Star Wars and grammar etiquette can be combined into one. Hell, I didn’t even use Yoda, and one cannot imagine the restraint needed to avert that.

I do, not try.

A little too forced, but that’s what you get when I type in “Grammar Wars” into Google and come out with grammar etiquette and Star Wars.

I’m not sure what I can write about the grammar wars we’ve already committed. I mean, I can say I’m more cognizant of the various types of grammar. I have a sense for what sounds right and how to “correct” most inconsistencies, but there is still more for me to discover. For example, before I had no idea there was really a separate category between informal and casual, but the more I saw them, the better my understanding was. The difference between informal and formal seemed to be a bit more subtle since they’re so close to each other.

I can now see the difference is in the details. Informal seems to have proper attention to detail, but with more superfluous information that isn’t necessary for the completion of the sentence. Closer to speaking, whereas formality is clarified in the writing.

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Spoilers: Worf joins the cast in season 4.

“Is it alright that DS9, you know, the Star Trek spin off, is considered the best series in the Trek franchise?”

compared to

“Can Star Trek: Deep Space Nine be considered the best television series in the franchise’s history?”

Less acronyms and repetition make the latter sound stronger. It sounds like that was written while the former sounds like something that I would say.

Let’s take a moment to admire the fact that I transitioned from Star Wars to Star Trek wonderfully.

 

This really makes my post seem a lot longer, so therefore, better.

So it turns out I don’t know a lot about wars, but through this trek, maybe I can learn a little more.

Grammar Blog: Week 1. I Thought About Irony. It’s Probably More Annoying Than Capitalizing Every Word In This Title.

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Perhaps I’ve become more GIF than man. It is an interesting question that may or may not have anything to do with the topic at hand. Would staying on topic really help?

Oh hello, second monitor, I think that lo-.

So writing.

There are a few things to choose from in regards to my annoyances with word crimes. The uninventive (My spellcheck may not believe this is a word, but in my heart of hearts, it now is.), but still true pet peeve would be the use of irony in anything.

I’m looking at you, Alannis.

Jagged little pill indeed.

Okay, in the interest of not sounding like a total asshole, I can recognize that she recognized the non-irony (Don’t care spellcheck, still using it.) nature of her hit.

One need only to look (If that phrase isn’t a little pretentious, I don’t know what is. Maybe more offensive than the use of so many. ()) to Bender from Futurama.

Anyway, it’s all Morissette’s fault. One, for the whole misrepresentation of irony, and two, for making me actually type out her name.

A random example of irony, which I hope is correct, because man, wouldn’t it be ironic if in seeking to provide good examples of irony, I failed and Morissetted it?

I set about saving the world with a device meant to save it, but in the end, because of horrible horrible fate, I destroy it with the same device meant to save it.

Okay, that’s more tragic irony, but I think it’s clear.

Fine fine, just look to Bender. He provides the dictionary definition of irony, while I provided a ridiculously tragic dramatic one.

It all counts.

But anyway, you’ve probably heard this from your English teachers or professors at some point. If you’re not sure about the correct usage of irony, just replace it with “funny” or “weird” and you should come out golden.

I only hope I could help.