Could Use a Burger Now



“Hey, Max, would you like to try our new extreme bacon, ham, double bacon, beef, werewolf, predator, BURGER EXTREME COMBO BURGER AVAILABLE EXCLUSIVELY AT CARL’S JR. IN EXTREME MAN PORTIONS.”

“What the fuck are we waiting for, invisible voice? GIVE ME FIVE RIGHT RIGHT NOW, BRO.”

I would hurriedly eat  more of what was being offered to prove my EXTREME manhood, because since I’m a college aged male, I have to dig right the fuck in to something with a shitload of protein, fifteen different kinds of meat, and something with enough cholesterol to give me enough heart attacks to last a few more lifetimes, BECAUSE EXTREME.

I’m certain this is how fast food commercials are talking to me. At least anything made by Carl’s JR, whenever they show the new burger of the month. Why the fuck would I not want a pineapple burger just because I saw some guy eating it, and then a really hot chick eat one.

It’s not that specific commercial, because believe it or not, Carl’s JR has made so many of these kinds of commercials, it’s hard to find just one of them. I can’t believe they’ve made so many gimmicky burgers either. Poor people. At least the models got to eat something.

Oh right, I’m avoiding the obvious.

I’ve said Carl’s JR about fifty times and that means something. When I immediately thought of sexism in media, I thought of their commercials. It wasn’t even a stretch either. It was as natural as assuming the sky was blue. I admit it was very effective. Hell, they still are very effective. For one, have you seen anyone burgers, or you know, ANYTHING at those angles?

As a part of the dumb college male demographic they were clearly shooting for, all I remember is that Kate Upton is hot and that the burger she’s holding is making her hotter.

Now I’m certain Carl’s JR did not really care how sexist it was perceived as long as it sold whatever gimmick burger they had for the sales period, but wow, did they fucking ever make a sexist ass commercial that I could not pry my eyes away from.

According to Carrie Packwood Freeman and Debra Merskin’s article “Having it His Way:”

analysis shows how much animals are feminized and women are animalized and both are often sexualized. (Freeman 281)

(Note to my spell check: “sexualized” is not misspelled as serialized and “animalized” is not a misspelling of annualized.)

If that Carl’s JR commercial did not do that then I would love to see your brilliant deconstructionist breakdown of the fast food commercial. You clearly have much to teach me and the world.

But really, the way she is posed is like a poster. Upton was in many ways almost exactly like the burger, both objects to be idealized and consumed by male gaze helped built by advertising.

Another reason why these commercials are so effective is man’s need to be men. We can’t simply be men typing at a computer and watching Netflix (Spellcheck note: It knows how to spell Netflix!) all the time. WE MUST BE MEN AND MEN DO MAN THINGS. HEAR ME ROAR, MANSTYLE!

Because of this history of men as meat-eaters, the men of today who eschew meat often face the stigmatization of being labeled effeminate. Adams cites Nutritionist Jean Meyer, who believes that in modern society ‘the more men sit at their desks all day, the more they want to be reassured about their maleness in eating those large slabs of bleeding meat which are the last symbols of machismo. (Freeman 280)

Oh shit do I feel hungry even quoting that. Does anyone feel like a burger? Sure I may contributing to the negative stereotype of man’s need to be man, but I could really go for a disgusting Five Guys burger with a ridiculous amount of fries.

Oh but back on topic. I guess.

I do agree with most of what the article says. Carl’s JR does emphasize its models and burgers as objects to be gazed upon and consumed like objects. I do agree that humanity has it’s history of consuming meat, but I don’t think it’s completely correct to assume the reason I want a burger is because I need to in order to claim some vestige of my ancestor’s manhood.

Fast food commercials are ruthlessly sexist and misleading, but can’t I have a burger… because I just like burgers?



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